(2003 to 2005)

Poor Americans

Thu Jan 6 19:14:00 UTC+1100 2005



You know, American entertainers inexperienced with Australian crowds have the worst time.

Sometimes it's almost tragic. Other times it just makes you want to 'hide behind the couch' because you're embarrassed for them.

Here's the thing, right.

If you're an American comedian/rock band/rapper/dj/public speaker/etc and you come to Australia DON'T start your show like this:

“Hello Sydney, AUSTRALIA!!!!!!!!!!”

I mean, you can if you want.

But don't expect the crowd to go ape-shit fucking loco and start screaming and partying and stuff.

Because we won't.

We'll just sort of stand there, and look at you, and go “Yeah. G'day. Howzitgoin'?”

Then we'll look over to our mates and think “Is this guy for real?”

As soon as an American entertainer does that, and they get a murmur (as opposed to a ROAR!) from the crowd, you can literally see their face drop into the “Oh shit. Tough crowd.” expression.

The thing is, we're not a tough crowd.

We're having a great time.

We just don't want to start yelling and screaming about “Sydney, AUSTRALIA!!!!!!!!”

We know where we live.

We think it's pretty cool too.

But really, we are at this venue to see YOU, and we think YOU might be pretty cool.

Don't bum yourself out, and make us feel 'awkward' by feeling 'disappointed' in us, just because we don't start cheering at the drop of the hat.

Just come out, do your thing, and let us watch.

We do love you.

We just show it in different ways.

Anyway, De La Soul started their show at the Domain like that the other day, and the poor guys spent the whole show trying to recover. It was a good show, but it would have been so much better if they hadn't tried to gee-up the crowd with cheap shots. You could literally see them looking at each other on stage with the “Oh fuck, what's going on with this crowd?” look on their face. 

Just play your fucking songs, OK? We'll cheer and sing when we hear the famous bits that we know and like. :)

Copyright © 2003-2005 John Elliot