(2003 to 2005)

"Movie Sets"

Sat Aug 14 04:45:00 UTC+1000 2004


There is a scene toward the end of Mulholland Drive where the director kisses his lead actress in a car on set.

Prior to kissing her, he orders the set clear.

I couldn't help think of when I helped to make a movie once.

There was this chick, who worked behind the bar I often went to with my mates.

One night, we hung out with her there (it was her Dad's pub, and she worked there) and she invited us to be extras in her movie the next day.

I have to say, the whole thing was pretty tacky really, not that I minded too much mind you.. ;)

Basically, after a big night drinking on Friday, I got up really early (like 5am) on Saturday, met up with a mate and headed to a famous strip joint at Kings Cross.

The strip joint was pretty much empty at that time of the morning (between about 7 and 9 am) so the guys making the film had managed to get it as their set.

The film was being prepared for entry into Trop Fest, which is a local short film festival that attracts (in my opinion) an awful lot of talent.

It's not surprising, really, that this film didn't end up getting selected.. haha.

In the film the chick from the bar was a 'stripper', and the whole plot was based around a joke where some dude ejaculates on another guys back while watching the show.

All class. I know.

So, me and my mate constituted the 'crowd', and there was a few other dudes who had a 'part' with 'lines'.


and: Um, it's all over your back.

But the guys making the film were artsy, wannabe, types. Super clicky, snobby, etc. Not particularly amazing individuals, although they'd love to convince you that they were. They were friendly enough to us though, because we had the blessing of 'the lead actress'.

Anyway, it was fun to cheer while she took all her clothes off, and ran around naked on the stage, trying to figure out how to be a stripper (heh, it came naturally ;).

There was one part though, where they wanted to do some “full frontal nudity”. It was clearly all bullshit. It hadn't been planned for, there was no intention of putting it in the film itself, etc. etc. The point was that the guys wanted it for, er, their own records..

So, they 'cleared the set'. It was a real power game. The whole “alpha male” tension in the air. On reflection, it was pretty funny. At the time, I guess I felt a little nervous, trepidatious, and kind of lame, etc. I mean, these guys were wankers, and I sort of felt like I should have 'done something' but it was just sleazy, and I was there, and that was that.

I reckon I ended up in a sort of defacto 'moral support' role for Emma. I could tell that while she was arguing that she didn't want to do 'the shot' that she did really. She probably just didn't want to be accused of being slutty. I reckon, based on body language alone really, that had I wanted to I could have played the game and stayed on set. I'd have given myself at least 80% chance of not getting a single objection if I had have said that I was going to stay (although, it was slightly more complicated than that).

But, I just pussied out, and went outside with everyone else. I guess I decided that I didn't have anything to prove (whereas all the other guys did, since they all knew each other, I was just a stranger passing through)

It was interesting being outside in the corridor too. Most dudes were making excuses for why it was cool that they were outside. Saying things like “Oh, yeah, she needs privacy for this“ (the I'm a Sensitive New Age Guy tact) or “Man, I'd fuck her!“ (the I need to make some attempt to recover the image of my masculinity because I feel like I just got beaten down tact) or “Anyone want to get some food?“ (the I'm going to pretend that I don't care tact).

So, that scene in Mulholland Drive reminds me of that.

It also reminds me that I don't like people much.

Copyright © 2003-2005 John Elliot