The Official Programmer Webpage


Real Ultimate Power


Hi, this site is all about programmers, REAL PROGRAMMERS.  This site is awesome.    My name is John and I can't stop thinking about programmers.  These guys are cool; and by cool, I mean totally sweet.




1.    Programmers are mammals.

2.    Programmers code ALL the time.

3.    The purpose of the programmer is to flip out and cut code.



Weapons and gear:



Programmer Workstation                   Programmer Drink   



Programmer Food





Programmers can code anything they want!  Programmers cut code ALL the time and don't even think twice about it.  These guys are so crazy and awesome that they flip out ALL the time.  I heard that there was this programmer who was eating at a diner.  And when some dude dropped a spoon the programmer implemented a HTML subset with extensions.  My friend Shaz said that he saw a programmer totally implement some API just because some kid ran windows.


And that's what I call REAL Ultimate Power!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


If you don't believe that programmers have REAL Ultimate Power you better get a life right now or they will burninate you!!!  It's an easy choice, if you ask me.  


Programmers are sooooooooooo sweet that I want to crap my pants.  I can't believe it sometimes, but I feel it inside my heart.  These guys are totally awesome and that's a fact.  Programmers are fast, smooth, cool, strong, powerful, and sweet.  I can't wait to start Java next year.  I love programmers with all of my body (including my pee pee).    



Q and A:.



Q: Why is everyone so obsessed about programmers?

A: Programmers are the ultimate paradox. On the one hand they don't give a crap, but on the other hand, programmers are very careful and precise.


Q: I heard that programmers are always cruel or mean.  What's their problem?

A: Whoever told you that is a total liar.  Just like other mammals, programmers can be mean OR totally awesome. 


Q: What do programmers do when they're not cutting code or flipping out?

A: Most of their free time is spent gaming, but sometimes they snack.  (Ask Shaz if you don't believe me.)



This is a picture of my best friend Shaz showing off.

He's a lot blacker than me and almost compiled his own Linux kernel,

which is bragable.





Programmers around the world pay homage to THE REAL ULTIMATE POWER!

...and we think this stuff is cool too (and by cool, we mean totally sweet!):