(2003 to 2005)

2004-06-23 090534

Wed Jun 23 09:22:00 UTC+1000 2004


There is no way that I can say what I'm about to say, without coming across to others as a self-centered, possibly conceited and definitely arrogant prick.

However, I want to say this anyway; for my own future reference as how I felt at a point in time.

I just went to the bathroom, and while I was in there I could 'feel' my 'brain'.

There was literally a 'whir, whir, whir' thing going on in there. Like the sound you would get from a computer fan, or an air-conditioner, or an idling engine. Perhaps there was just a lot of blood in my head, but I could feel it gently resonating.

I was extremely calm, and everything felt entirely clear.

I felt like I could analyse any complex system and completely understand it. I could even see through the confusion of others and understand what they were trying to do and where they had failed. I would be unable to effectively communicate my understanding, but I would have the understanding nevertheless.

I push myself really hard.

I'm basically a drug addict because of the amount of caffeine that I depend on.

My mind gets intense 'work outs', and I understand my brain to be nothing more than a biological, pattern-matching machine. I work really hard to make sure that my 'pattern matcher' doesn't contain any false assertions. If my brain contains no false assertions, and is strong, then I will be able to solve any level of logical problem. I can decompose problems to their logical components, understand all my premises and recombine them in extremely complex ways. Communicating my understanding to others would be impossible unless I could rid them of all of their false premises, something that does not seem to be entirely possible.

If you are looking for truth, implicitly you assert the validity of logic.

I feel like a genius.

I feel enlightened.


p.s. No one can tell you what the Matrix is; you have to see it for yourself.

Copyright © 2003-2005 John Elliot