blog.jj5.net (2003 to 2005)

Seriously. Wow.

Tue Apr 20 18:10:00 UTC+1000 2004

Categories:

OK, I know I just told you about it, but this Group Hug site is amazing. I really posted my last message before I'd had a read. Check out just a few random comments included below. There is an RSS feed for this site. I'm subscribing.

John.

 

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i just hate my friend. She's irritating me for four whole years but i just don't have the guts to tell her. im too soft! she suck.
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i'm 23 and need help, i grew up fairly normally and had alot of friends but over the past couple of years i have alienated myslef from my fiance, friends and family and all because i cant be bothered to ring them. i go to work and come home thats my life. im paranoid and suffer from bouts of depression. my old man thinks im a freak and i know it, i try so hard to change my ways but my stomach screws up and i want to cry. i long to go back to my child hood when the world was a bigger place. i hate my life..
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i just snogged my boss, slept with a complete stranger god knows what else i've done last night and it's not the first time i get this drunk, i feel terrible and it's all my fault, i don't know why i do this to myself.
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i am 19 and known as the funny, out going girl all of my life, but i am seriosusly depressed. i hide it really well. i swear i am the best actress in the world. im afraid if people find out i'd lose everything that ive worked for all of my life. That ill be behind in my classes at university (its a very selective program and hard to get in. i cry myself to sleep every nite. if i wasn't as afraid of death as i am and wasnt such a chicken sh*t i'd kill myself. i take pills of any kind from the medicine cabinet at home. i hate my life and dont know what to do. i try to tell my family, but my mom claims its just 'girl troubles' and it will go away. my friends are all moving on in their lives and don't have time for me. i know i need help but im too afraid to get it. it feels good to let this out for now,but i never gets better, just blacker.
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I always plan these amazing house parties. Kegs of good beer, beirut table, weed, ecstasy, food, everything people would want and everyone always tells me how awesome they are and how they have such a good time but the thing is once it starts getting late I get all depressed. Its like i'm surrounded by all these people and feel completely alone. I'll keep having parties, and keep getting shitty at the end cause no one cares about me.
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It depresses me to think that love probably isn't like it is in the movies.
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Copyright © 2003-2005 John Elliot