(2003 to 2005)

Talking with The Internet

Sat Feb 12 05:37:00 UTC+1100 2005


I reckon I'd probably recognise several hundred names from around The Internet. Names of people who I've had conversations with, perhaps many times.

I can remember the names, but rarely do I attach any 'emotion' to them. There's a dialogue, but there's little 'history'.

I tend to take each transaction on its own merits.

Thus I realise that I've had fights with dudes before, and later amiable discussions, and in the time between lost the connection between 'name and transaction', such that during the most recent conversation I was not aware of the specifics of the history, just that some existed.

Basically, what I'm trying to say is that although I can remember a discussion, and I can remember a person, I am rarely able to recall the relationship between the two. So my brain knows “I discussed ABC with 'someone' on The Internet,” and “I discussed 'something' with John Doe,” but I rarely recall that “John Doe and I discussed ABC.” 

I think it's because I don't talk with people.

I talk with The Internet.

I'm not sure if that means that due to its nature (being textual, and therefore somehow less tangible, or 'real') it's easier to “forgive and forget” on The Internet, or if I have a predisposition to disregarding various aspects of a communication because of 'who' I view myself as talking with (i.e. The Internet vs. John Doe) or if it just means that “it's fucking impossible to remember everything you do and see” on The Internet. Either way, I think they're all kinda true.

(But I do remember everyone who's ever commented on my blog, so don't worry about that guys, OK? ;)

What's interesting is when you think that way, if you take some time to consider what another person's opinion of you might be before you decide how to phrase your discussion with them, then it can be difficult to make a determination about how they regard you. Because although the 'familiarity' is there, its 'nature' is not.

I think the number one reason for that is 'feedback'. Talking to The Internet can be like talking to a black hole. And I don't know how black holes regard me either... all I know about them is that they suck.

Copyright © 2003-2005 John Elliot